My Blog__ Cleanup Women

March 29, 2010 | By

Do you know what a "cleanup woman" is? I didn't until this week, thanks to Reverend Jen Miller and her book 'Live Nude Elf'. A "cleanup woman (or man) is the lover who comes along after the original lover has either broken up with or mistreated their lover." This person is usually similar to the original lover, depending on the psyche of the heart-broken. According to Jen, this situation usually makes you realize a thing or two - like "Love is like the human appendix. You take it for granted while it's there, but when it's suddenly gone you're forced to endure horrible pain that can only be alleviated through drugs - especially when the "cleanup woman" marries the ex and they live happily ever after.

The minute I read this I began to make a list of all the "cleanup women" who have dusted off my ex-boyfriends. The list of blondes, skinnier blondes, nicer blondes, calmer blondes, less psycho blondes who have been the "cleanup woman" for my bullshit. And then, after comparing myself to them relentlessly, like most people do, I thought about the men who have dusted me off after the horrible back-and-forth-fucked-up mess that seems to be my love life.

Everyone is someones cleanup woman and everyone is someones trashy treasure. And that's okay.

This guy I know once said that people in relationships are like roads: sometimes you run parallel with one road for years, sometimes weeks and sometimes just days, but you learn from them and then, you move on. Simple as that.

So, to anyone that I've been a cunt to, I'm sorry. You were just cleaning up my mess and really, I should be thanking you for taking the dirt off my hands.

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