My Blog__ Garbage Hunting #1: Tattoos

April 29, 2009 | By

Welcome to the segment of Extra Help where I show you trashy things I think are worth their salt. Garbage Hunting #1: Tattoos

I can't say anything about bad tattoos. Out of the seven stupid little pictures I decided to put on my bod, I still like (and respect) only three of them. I can't wait until I have kids and my daughter comes home with a gigantic rainbow on her lower back and I'm all, "Honey, I think that was a mistake..." and she's all, "But Mom you have a singing cartoon dragon on your ass and a hammer on your foot that looks more like a penis." Conversation over.

I went to high school with this kid...let's call him Pat. Pat was really cute and was kind of the runt of the boy crew he hung out with. He always got picked on. The teasing was out of love, but he developed nick names like "Loading" (because he took so long in the bathroom it was like waiting for the Nintendo to load) and "Flop" (because he didn't loose his baby weight until the end of the eleventh grade). I had a mini-crush on Pat because even though he was always in a foul mood, he had a great sense of humor and liked to skip class to get Slurpees. Pat found me on Facebook and I was cruising his profile today. Pat has lost all the baby weight, grown a beard and got this tattoo.

How nasty is this garbage? RANK 1 - 10: GO!

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