My Blog__ HOW THE PHOTOS FROM PRE-NEW YEARS EVE MADE SENSE FOR MY LIFE IN 2010

January 19, 2011 | By

New Years Eve is always a big fat frantic fart that ends up with someone puking or someone crying. You can't ever get a cab. You miss the count down. Your friends are in the bathroom and you can't find your purse. You lost your cellphone. It's all crumbling down. This bar sucks. This music sucks. New Years sucks.

To avoid this, a bunch of friends and I decided to go down to Seattle to see X play at the Moore Theater and then party with our close Seattle pals. Looking back on the few photos that were snapped in a hotel room before the show, I realized that the pics were psychic or cathartic or something like that.

FOUR LOKO

My band toured a lot this year, which means I drank a lot of Four Loko. After New Years Eve, I decided that was the last time. This is me drinking the last can of death juice I will ever drink. Here we are happily ignoring our age and chugging sugar-infested malt liquor like the world is ending. New Years was really messy for me. Daniel ended up showing the entire house my bra. I was carrying around my Loko in a Dasini bottle like a teenager at a bush party. I fell on some concrete. I woke up at 10am with Courtney and we drank red wine on her porch as kids and their parents happily walked down the cold, crisp streets. I felt like the gasoline Four Loko is currently being turned into.

FIRES

As we sat in our hotel room watching the news we noticed that the hotel down the street was on fire and on the news. This year I almost burnt down my apartment building, twice. The first time was due to a pot of noodles. I had set them to boil and passed out on my couch. I had been working a lot and drinking a little and when the four, beautiful firemen burst through my apartment door and started pinching my neck I came to and realized it was time to smarten up - quit one of my jobs. Once the smoke cleared and they realized that I was, in fact, not dead all I was left with was a stinking apartment and endless shame. About a month later I came home from my staff party at Vancouver magazine and tried to cook some chickpeas in my oven. I woke up at dawn to a smoke-filled room and knew I needed supervision if I was going to cook past 1am.

SEX LIFE

This year my sex life was pretty steady and great until it decided to do a perfect pencil dive down to LOL territory in September. [#breakups] For the next few months, I found myself fucking random friends (but not really fucking at all) and developing unnecessary crushes on dudes young enough to be the paper boy. Daniel, Anne-Marie and I dedicated most weekends to "cruising" [for dudes] which meant getting drunk as possible on "cruising juice" [beer] then demanding people make-out with us. Daniel even punched a hole in a wall when he couldn't find someone to hot dog [flirt] with. Then, I met [slept with] this really cool guy about a decade my senior and things have been coming up roses ever since. #nomoreLOLsex #datingisfun

THONGS

For some unexplainable reason I decided to start wearing thongs again this year. Maybe it's because I turned 25 and lost my job. I couldn't afford new underwear so I had to fall back on disgusting floss when I was too poor to do my laundry. Thongs have never been something I enjoyed, but I got over the fear of having fabric jammed up my ass this year and ditched the panty lines. I can't tell if this was a growth into womanhood or a step backwards into stupid teenage habits. Who cares.

ACTING LIKE A TEENAGER

Again, being on the road with my band has helped bring out the teenager in me. On tour your only responsibility is to eat, sleep, drink water, play a show and get to the next town. All the time in between is spend acting like a child which means wrecking hotel rooms, making out with toothless junkies, jumping on the bed, playing dress-up, singing along to Oasis, making up car games and breaking things that do not belong to you. It feels good, but the high never lasts too long.

PEACE (THE BAND)

This year I met this band called Peace. They are four of the oddest men [boys] I have ever met in my entire life. They all grew up in Edmonton so they are really smart but do things that are not so smart like take mushrooms before a photoshoot, play free shows for kids or wear bags on their feet instead of shoes. They recently recorded an album called My Face which is a delight to listen to while driving to the airport.

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