June 05, 2009 | By

So, last week while bored at work I whipped up a little "HEART/WISH LIST" for my hearty blog. You know, the shit I'd buy if I had endless bags of cash. Totally depressing. First off, the only thing I could realistically afford on the list was Smelly Felts and secondly, I wouldn't even know where to go buy them. So instead of sitting here in my matrix of privilege singing poor-me bullshit ballads (if I needed that I'd put on The Smiths), I decided to make a new list. LOVE WHAT I HAVE. Always. Starting now:

1. PINK DRESS - I got this dress years ago, but I have never worn it. I'm shit scared that I will wreck it by sweating all over the beautiful fabric. My ex-boyfriend and I used to fantasize about going to California to get "joke married". The plan was I'd wear the dress, we'd tie the knot and then eat burritos on the beach.

2. TAPE COLLECTION - About three years ago this sound girl named Kelly asked me if I wanted to take some cassette tapes off her hands. She told me there were "quite a few", but I had a two-deck and some extra space, so I said sure. My boyfriend (at the time) and I went over to Kelly's to get the tapes. She gave me this collection of over 700 cassettes - one album per side. They were compiled by some dude in London who started a zine in the 90s. There are some amazing live recordings and the artists range from Seaweed to Butthole Suffers to Babes in Toyland. There is also an Enya tape, which always throws me off. Regardless, this was the best gift ever.

3. "YR ON ACID" COMIC - My buddy Maya made this amazing comic book out of construction paper. The whole thing is cut n paste, glue and scissors and it rules. The concept of the book was inspired by a text message.

4. COURTNEY LOVE: THE QUEEN OF NOISE BY MELISSA ROSSI - I bought this book my first year of university and I have read it about 100 times. It is the unauthorized autobiography of Love which was written the same year she punched Kathleen Hanna and then, two fans in the face thus, spending 80% of her time in court. The author, Rossi, actually knew Love from days past in Portland and when she finally comes to this revelation as the two are having Chinese food, we read as Love breaks down at the memory of her long lost, local celebrity love, Rozz Rezebek.

5. YEARS SUPPLY OF BIRTH CONTROL & PREG TESTS - Shit is tight in girl town.

6. GERMAN PRINT OF THE POPE EATING SPAGHETTI - My ex used to live in Berlin because he was a model/artist (hooker/waitress). Instead of bringing back all the clothes he acquired from numerous couture fashion gigs, he decided to ditch those and keep the sentimental stuff. So instead of a Fendi scarf I got the Pope. After we broke up he let me keep the Pope because I had gotten pretty attached. I mean, scarves come and go but the Pope is forever.

7. CHARLOTTE POTOT - This is my friend Charlotte. She is from Paris and spends most of her time reading about cyber feminism and shop lifting. We once lived together in a big house in the Utrecht and developed a sister-like bond. Charlotte has a unique care-free nature, amazing lipstick collection (stolen) and complex drinking habits, but is a brain. She is speaking at her first feminist conference this June in Utrecht, NL and in English no less. Good luck Charly!

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