My Blog__ SHORE, SERIOUSLY: SEASON 3, EPISODE 10

March 07, 2011 | By

Last week Mish wrote that, "the Jersey Shore is simply a chicken-less dinner without the Sam and Ron drama" and I'm inclined to agree. According to this infographic, the on-again-off-again duo rake in significantly less cash than the rest of their castmates but maybe that's going to change in 2011.

Undeniably, Sammi and Ronnie have been the driving force behind most of the show's pivotal plot points extending back to Miami. Episode 7 of this season, aka the one where they break stuff until they break up, has been the most poignant episode of the entire series because of, well, how real it was.

The top Shore earners (The Situation, Pauly D and Snooks) have marketed themselves based on clearly defined and charismatic personas. From day one, they entered the Jersey Shore franchise with the intent of fame and fortune. Ron and Sammi, on the other hand, have not made much of their reality TV success -- no books, no spin-offs, no Dancing With The Stars. Maybe it is that relative aspect of normalcy that makes them both annoying and intriguing to watch.

In this week's episode Sammi returns and tells Ron that he looks pale. Zing! She rushes off to the girls and they are totally ha-static (or maybe hy-static, I'm not sure the exact spelling on that one). The boys do a fairly clever interpretation of what the girls are probably talking about but there's something depressing about the way Ronnie's last words are, "Joke's on me, huh?".

The truly sad part is that he still doesn't see that the joke's always been on Sam. Later on when Ronnie tails  Sam through the club, she knew he was sucking up to her and she wanted him to suffer more. If they were  broken up for real-real why would she care about the amount of suffering? It seems more like there's a prescribed amount of suffering he has to endure before she takes him back. If we're placing bets, I'm going with them getting back together.

When it comes to Snooki and Vinny, the joke is most definitely on Snooks. Even though the girl is a character putting on a show, there's a candidness about her that she can't escape from. She bawls her little meatball heart out when Vinny brings home a girl even though he said that he'd cuddle with her. Then, the whole next day, she lies in bed with a hoodie pulled over her face and that mangy stuffed crocodile between her legs.

There's a meta-aspect to the Vinny/Snooki drama, however, that makes it much less important. On her twitter, Snooki writes about her boyfriend, Jionni aka the guy she banged who was someone's cousin or whatever. It's interesting that MTV let her divulge that information. Maybe she doesn't get together with Jionni again until after Season 3 wraps up? Regardless, it confirms what we already know: Vinny is not the guido for her.

After the first season of Jersey Shore,  I would have said that Vinny's a catch. Compared to rest of the boys, he seemed down-to-earth and, uh, smart. But, like the toilet he clogged with his shirt, Vinny is now full of shit. The way he talks about women gives me the heebie jeebies as does the side-by-side sexing set-up he's got going on with his main man, Pauly D. Those Dominican girls were gross and I'm not saying that because they had sex. I'm saying that because they had terrible sex. There is no way those girls felt satisfied or even special as they were being ushered out the door. At least if you go home with the Situation, you know you're going to get a sandwich.

As for the Situation's cheesy girl, she looked pissed off but in an apathetic way. When he kicked her out for smelling like cheese I bet she wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and was like, "Whatever." By the end of the episode Mike didn't know that the smell was from a prank and not from a vagina. Usually I couldn't care less about pranks, but I hope Snooki, Sam and Ronnie convince him to get himself swabbed. They might be doing all the DTF girls of Seaside a giant favour.

Read last week's recap here.

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