As this season of Jersey Shore winds down, it's hard to not be skeptical about how successful the next season in Italy will be. Sure, there's a natural decrescendo to any show but after this episode and, I admit, Mish's last post, I feel like the good people at MTV are a beating a dead horse.
Originally, Jersey Shore's appeal was its shockingly candid and charismatic cast members. The way people act, and why they do the things they do, is fascinating and when people came on TV with prepared nicknames, it was like an all-you-can-eat buffet. These days I'm noticing that everything tastes the same and it's a whole lot greasier than I thought at the beginning.
The producers made a renovation by replacing Angelina with Deena "Blast in a Glass" Meatball Number 2, but she has fizzled out. In this episode she crawled into a box and wore a denim onesie. Likewise, Pauly D has flatlined. There were a few well-timed jokes, but for the most part he's been doing the awkward under-the-cover-reality-TV-wiggle with bar chicks. The Situation realizes how boring the whole scene is and stopped bringing home girls this season but then again that might be because he's gay. JWoww turned out to be a serial dater and Snooki's story-arch with Vinny is undermined by her constant Jionni tweets.
Skipping over Ron & Sam, I want to spend a little time on Vinny. In Jersey Shore's first season, he was the most likable male cast member. He seemed the most "normal" and didn't look as goofy as the other guidos. Then fame struck and he started getting laid. Watching him pick up girls at the bar is the most nauseating thing on TV, including those medical programs where they show surgeries. There needs to be some sort of Seaside female solidarity petition to not fuck any of these guys. The best I can hope for is some Italian backlash. Next season might be worth watching if the boys are shot down every night.
I noticed that this is the first episode where the bar girls talk about "grenades" which adds that extra meta-flavour to Jersey Shore that's been so interesting this season. The women are laughing about grenade this, grenade that--which doesn't surprise me because if there's one thing women like it's calling other women unattractive. Even Deena chimes in while the DTF girls are leaving the house with a cutting remark. At least Snooki stood up for herself when he sloppy-seconded her in front of everyone.
Is it possible that Vinny's newfound douchebaggery also has a meta-flavour? In Miami he looked like a total loser waiting around for Ramona and maybe seeing that footage effected his attitude towards women this season. When the Arvin drama is going down between Ron and Sam (and Mike), Vinny says, "If I'm with a girl and she texts another dude, 'What's the weather like outside,' I still don't trust it. You know what I mean? I just don't trust a girl talking to another dude."
Oh the lucky girl that gets to date you, Vinny. I guess if she dislikes men as much as you dislike women, you'll be a perfect match. Vinny's mom needs to get out of the kitchen and give her son a shake.
Speaking of mothers, Ronnie's mom stole the show with her distressed drunken phone call. She reminded me why I keep watching the show. First of all, she was the catalyst for the episode's best line, delivered by JWoww: "Two things: Please clean that bathroom upstairs, and your mom's been drunk-dialing all day". Secondly, Ronnie's face was priceless as he nervously looked at the cameras while telling his mom that she was embarrassing herself. Lastly, it gave me hope for a "The Parents of Jersey Shore" special where Ronnie's mom hooks up with Vinny's Uncle Nino in the hot tub.
Read last week's recap here.Tweet