My Blog__ SHORE SERIOUSLY: SEASON 3, EPISODE 8

February 20, 2011 | By

This was a shitty episode and I mean that literally. From clogged toilets to explosive diarrhea jokes, everyone tried to shrug off the PTSD caused by Ronnie and Sam's last fight with some honest to God shit talk. Now, I'm no professional detective but I have read a couple Nancy Drews and this episode had a few mysteries to solve. I'd like to start with a cold case dating back to season 1: The Secret of Pink-Eyed Vinny.

Deena retaliates by putting the shit under his pillow where it lingers until bedtime. Not very hard to connect those dots.  Later on in the episode he shoves a wire hanger up a clogged up toilet. Maybe he should have just pushed it down the stairs.

The second case is subtle and based partially on intuition: The Clue of the Sloppopotamus. Deena went from blast to bomb on her way home from Karma. One minute she was falling then she was crying and then she was giving Ronnie bedroom eyes. Why did Deena all of a sudden become a Sensitive Sally? She tells Ronnie that she usually had thick skin and we're inclined to believe this piece of self-analysis. If your dance move is the Jersey Turnpike (aka the bowed-head ass shake), you have got to be a woman of confidence.

It took 8 episodes, but Deena finally felt some shame in her game. She said it was because of the constipation jokes but I think that was a red herring. The Clue of the Sloppopotamous actually leads to the greater Mystery of the Dirty Drawers.

Pauly D finds a pair of skiddy gitch in the bathroom and sets them tenderly on the beanbag chair. Everyone gets a good look but no one claims the prize. They totally belonged to Deena and here's why: she touched them (as Ronnie pointed out), she isn't nearly as disgusted by them as everyone else, Mike says they're hers and then, The Clue of the Sloppopotamous. All that vodka she drinks to forget the incident backfires when she becomes drunkenly emotional about being embarrassed.

It's possible that there's room for an argument in here about male chauvinism and stained panties because the boys used to get on Angelina's case about the same thing. Vinnie even says that his girls don't wear underwear when Deena so brilliantly turns it back on him. Girls all have dirty gitch, boys. But girls, it doesn't mean you can leave them in common areas.

At this point in the recap, I'd like to shift gears from Nancy Drew to Dr. Drew and discuss, 4 Clues That You Are an Abusive Boyfriend. Number 1: your behaviour towards your partner could be described as "disrespectful" (like, you cheat on her or break all her stuff or something). Number 2: When she finally leaves you, you try to manipulate her into coming back by sending roses. Added bonus if she thanks you for them without you having to say your sorry. Number 3: Make some run-of-the-mill sexist comments about loving that you have a dick or something. Lastly, Number 4: Cheer up your female roommate by explaining to her that men show love by destroying things that girls love. Another bonus for ending the speech with orders for the woman to go get food from the kitchen.

Holy steroids, Ronnie is fucked up. He has no idea how abusive he is. On the preview for next week's episode we see that Sam returns to the house. I hope she brought her own plunger and wet wipes because things could get even messier.

Read last week's recap here.

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