My Blog__ SHORE SERIOUSLY SEASON 4, EPISODE 6

September 11, 2011 | By

I recently read an article in New York magazine about how reality television is more about the jokes and comments we make while watching rather than the content of the program itself. Why do we love The Shore? Because we love to talk about The Shore. Without that idea, this column would not exist.

That being said...

Not a lot happened on this episode and in fact, it was a lot of fluff. Why do these people never leave the four block radius surrounding their house? They are in Italy for Christ's sake and all they can manage to do is walk from the tourist market to the tourist laundry mat to the tourist night club? Get real, guys. Step out.

But when the girls did step out, drama followed. Snooki, dressed in her usual, knee-high leather boots, skirt and plunging neck line, was called out by a priest. "Can you cover your body please when you walk by the church?" he asked. Why did he single out Snooki? Did he not notice that J-Woww was walking around in, what appeared to be, a t-shirt and no pants? Snooki's response? "At my church they'd be like, 'Nice outfit'! God likes my shit! He made my shit! What are you talking about?"

I'm on Team Snooki. I think she is adorable, funny and aloof. She's the perfect reality television star. That's why it kind of breaks my heart a little bit to see her being treated like garbage from her boyfriend back home. What's even more frustrating is the way her room mates decide to go about helping her on this one. It's one thing to give a friend advice, but it's another thing to bud right into their business and tell them what is best for them... which is kind of the M.O. of this house. Or the M.O. of reality television all together. I mean, who could forget the "anonymous letter"?

I don't know if it's because he feels guilty for hulking-out on everyone, but this week Ronnie turned over a new leaf. Ronnie's emotions and mental state swing from high to low more aggressively than a woman going through menopause. I guess that is what happens when you take steroids, binge drink heavily and hate your girlfriend. Last week, he was a raging hulk, fighting with Sam, Mike and whoever dared get in his way. This week, he's handing out heart-to-heart's like business cards. Sorry, Hallmark cards. At least he know hows to sit so people think you are listening.

Ronnie is all about body language. At the club, he brought out "Crazy Legs" and danced so hard he fell over. He took a "time out" but it only lasted a few minutes before he was at it again, holding onto the wall, with his injured leg propped up as the rest of his body kept partying.

The club scenes are always the saving grace on these fluffy episodes. This time it was the girls who got in fights, not only with other people at the club, but eventually each other... by accident. Snooki and Deena went to attack a girl who threw a drink at them, but instead ending up beating one another up, laughing and then, hugging it out. Was this whole girl fight staged by the producers? Was this episode that boring?

I did learn some new insults from Deena, J-Woww and Snooki, who I have decided are not afraid of anyone:

"You just knocked a drink all over me! Fall back!"
"Don't make that face, I will punch you."
"You're not our friend. Bud out."
"Don't fuck with my bitch."

Before this show existed, I thought I was the only person who tried to cook elaborate meals when drunk. These people come home at night and fry up chicken, pasta or magically construct gigantic sandwiches. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one who tries to make a tuna casserole from scratch, wasted, at 4am on a Tuesday. At least these guys have a camera crew for super vision and probably haven't set their apartments on fire like I have been known to do. Whoops.

Read last week's recap here.

__Share this post