My Blog__ SHORE, SERIOUSLY: SEASON FINALE

March 26, 2011 | By

I just finished watching the season finale of Jersey Shore. Sigh. Yes, a sigh of relief. I heard they are going to Italy next season. Maybe someone will push Vinny out the airplane for acting like such a douche bag? Here's hoping.

Like Jess mentioned in her last post the original appeal of this show has run it's course. What was entertaining and interesting was that this was a microscope into a very real and very odd subculture that was thriving with illogical gender rules, sex stereotypes, fashion, hygiene and language. However, now that audiences have become accustom to "DTF", "GTL" and "MVP", it's just a bunch of drunk people fighting about "being real". Talk about beating a dead horse.

"Whatever" has become almost as big of a catch phrase as "I'm done" on the Shore. Apathy ruins as wild as the SoCo shots when hooking up is involved. Except no one is apathetic. In fact, they all care way too much about stupid shit. For example, Snooki played it off like she was totally cool with Lisa (Deena's friend) hooking up with Vinny. "He's not my boyfriend. You know, whatever." But it obviously makes her a bit sad that Vinny is not her boyfriend. In this case, the "stupid shit" that she cares too much about is Vinny. Fuck that guy. For real. He is such a dork. I can't even twist this one into some grandiose analysis about social norms so I appear smart when I talk about this stupid show. Sorry, guys. I can't stand Vinny and his little three-quarter-mom-socks. Thank God for Twitter. Spoiler alert. Snooki lands a dude she likes who isn't Vinny.

Speaking of landing dudes, J-Woww and Rodger finally made their relationship exclusive when he asked her to be his girlfriend. There is something about J-Woww that I relate to. J-Woww is this no bullshit, tough girl who knows who she is and what she wants. She pretends to be a player, but deep down, she's just a nurturing romantic who genuinely likes being in relationships. I feel like I'm peering into my soul when I look at her cleavage. Rodger is not my cup of tea (he's more like my turds) but he is hers and that kind of rules.

Adorable.

Alas, it would not be an episode of the Shore without a screaming match between Sam and Ron. How much salty eye liquid have these two wasted on one another? Too much. It boggles my mind that when these two hurl the most awful insults at one another, no one steps in. If I was a witness to any man talking to my friend the way that Ronnie talks to Sam I would cut the dudes dick off. It's beyond abusive. It's not even funny. Nothing about the way these two interact with one another is entertaining or comedic. It's terrible and it makes me feel sad. They will forever be fucked because this relationship disguised as "love" has become an MTV phenomenon. Best of luck to you both. I hope MTV is willing to pay for therapy for the next thirty years. #doubt it

I've been really into Avril Lavigne's new single right now. It's called "What The Hell". I think that everyone in the cast of Jersey Shore needs to take a little lesson from their Canadian pop princess here and just give up. "WHAT THE HELL?" I mean, they are basically living this motto anyways. Hey guys, "You say I am messing with your head, boy. I like messing in your bed, yeah. I like messing with you head when I'm messing you with in bed." Yep, Avril. Ace in the fucking hole. Guidos love Canada. Just ask the Sitch.

Best of luck, duders. See you in Italy.

Read last week's recap here.

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