My Blog__ SHORE, SERIOUSLY: SEASON THREE, EPISODE 5

January 30, 2011 | By

This week's episode of the Jersey Shore was heartwarming. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible. As much as the grenade horn and the fact that Vinny said the stripper pole Snooki bought for the house was not durable enough for fat chicks made me cringe inside, the tension between Sammi, Ronnie and Jenni was confronted - finally. After the first episode I realized that the family needed a therapy lesson in communication, it turns all they needed was old faithful: alcohol.

(A C-Section means a woman is no longer a sexual threat. #Damaged goods.)

The Ronnie and Sam escapades continued at Karma when Sam noticed that Ron was speaking to another woman. Ronnie reassured Sam that she was simply a friend of a friend and a mother (hence, the C-section) so Sam obviously had nothing to worry about. As much as I understand that Sam has her doubts about Ron because of his blatant cheating in Season 2, I do not understand why people stay in relationships that lack trust. What is the point of being with someone you do not trust? Love is trust. I don't care how good that juicehead may or may not be at eating pussy. It can not be worth the anxiety. As The Sitch pointed out, "If you are in a relationship and fighting that much, is it really that fun?"

(This is what you get when you bring Ronnie pizza at 3am instead of a protein shake.)

Alcohol is the fuel that keeps the family's fire burning. Buzzed on booze, the boys were able to convince some ladies to come back to the house to eat pizza and smoosh. Ronnie and Sam were able to air out their dirty laundry, literally. Ron was so fed up with Sam's insecurities and threats to go home that he threw all her belongings into the middle of the room and told her to pack her bags. She finished eating her pizza and then sat down for a good drunken cry. Ronnie had a cry too, but not with Sam. Instead, he and Jenni talked and she reminded him that they are alike because they stayed with their partners out of guilt. This reunion between Ron and Jenni caused Sam to walk downstairs and punch Ron in the jaw while the pizza party went on inside barely phased.

Vinny brought a beautiful Silician girl named Gina back to the house, despite the fact that her uncles (who were protecting her like body guards at the club) disapproved. Who goes to the club with their uncle? I found this beyond weird, but then remembered the video Guido Beach - it's normal to get wild with your immediate family at Seaside. Gina stayed on screen for a total of 10 minutes before her uncles tracked her down and removed her from Vinny's awkward embrace. Seeing a grown woman being treated like a dog that ran away makes me rage. Can she not be trusted to make her own decisions? What year is this? Vinny was so surprised by Gina's uncle's behaviour, however if Vinny ends up with a daughter I imagine him doing the exact same thing.

Can we talk about how awesome Snooki's pal Ryder is for a sec here? It's Ryder's 22nd birthday and she is sitting with the family as they try to convince Sam to stay in the house. Pardon me? Can you imagine if this situation was reversed and Sam's birthday was being destroyed by Ryder's personal life? Get real. At least Ryder was woken up from her drunken slumber with a brightly lit birthday cake and not a request for condoms like Sam was.

Despite the punching, crying and mellow drama, things worked themselves out. Sam realized that she too has made mistakes with Ron and needs to learn to forgive him as well as the people around her in the house. After Ron threw Sam's clothes all over her room, Sam cried out to Vinny, "It's a sign from God! I need to go home." Vinny shook his head and poignantly said, "God is not your ego, Sam." Heavy.

(Does this mean she will no longer be smooshing Ron?)

The next night at the club, Jenni took Sam to the bar with her as a peace offering. Sam accepted. Then, something magical happened. Sam admitted she was wrong. Maybe all the evil in her life was not because of Jenni but because of herself. Like Jess mentioned in the previous SHORE, SERIOUSLY, Jenni and Sam are a like a double helix. When Jenni lost Tom she was able to forgive herself, hence she was able to forgive Sam. Sam accepted and the two girls hugged it out. Sam had projected so much much anger, pain and resentment for herself onto Jenni that she forgot that what started this hatred was a stupid, little note. Lesson learned? Girl Code in this world is fucked, but as J-Woww said, "At the end of the day I was just trying to be there for you." Exactly, because even though you sometimes hate them, that is what family is for. Just ask Gina.

Read last week's recap here.

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