Now, when you hear the words “BIKER CHICK” you think bleach blond hair, short Daisy Duke cut-off jeans, crazy tattoos on the back with some fat dude riding. Well, that’s not the case with me. Yes, I’m a “BIKER CHICK” and I want people to know that being a biker chick isn’t a bad thing its actually way cool. Having a bike between my legs is like riding a rolling vibrator who needs a man right. Nothing gets more respect than a chick on a loud fast bike cuz you know that some of those weak guys who think they know everything can’t fuck with a chick who’s pushing a fast fucking motorcycle. This is why I want more chicks to be like me and get outta that fucking shitty mini van and get on a fucking hardcore motorbike and tell every fucking doosh bag man with a car to get the fuck outta your way cuz mean ass mama is on the road.

BIKER CHICK SQOOSH”OH-9

Party is going to be the pre-game party for Halloween, so come down and get your freak on…

Really it’s crazy. Humans are really strange animals. They think we–and I mean DOGS–are dumb, but they’re really the dumb ones if you think about it like this. First of all, we don’t work and we don’t do anything but sniff the humans crotch when they get home from work and that makes them so happy that they run to the fridge and get us dinner right away. I love that trick…woof woof. Then the other thing is they buy us silly outfits and try and dress us–which by the way I hate. Really humans I am dog, not a person like you, so leave the outfits home. The only time it’s sort of ok, is when it’s cold out. Sure, a jacket isn’t that bad but when you see a poodle with a dress on that breaks my heart, but whatever. Another thing is when we’re walking in the street and we poo, guess who picks it up? Not me. It’s those silly humans. If aliens came down to earth from the sky and saw this they would think we are the supreme beings…but I can’t hate cuz the humans are pretty cool when it comes to getting treats and french fries and beer.

My two cents as a dog.