News__ A-Z of 2010

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We weigh in on what happened in 2010, with the help of the alphabet.

By: Mish Way and Elianna Lev

When trying to create this list, we kept trying to think about what happened over the past year and realized those things actually happened in 2009. 90s fashion? Nope, that was 2009. Tiger Woods? Um, 2009. So, what was 2010 all about? We opened our laptops and put our heads together to create this year's A-Z rundown of the last twelve months. We may not have got it all, but we only had so many letters in the alphabet. Honorary mention goes to Wikileaks, clogs, skinny cargo pants, Matt Damon, Tyra Banks, iHollaback, Kotex ads and Nu Sensae.

Here's to everything that happened in 2010!

A is for Alcoholic Juice a.k.a. Four Loko

Four Loko was the bigger, stronger, juice head cousin of Sparks and the life of the party. Available at any corner store for only $2.50 and packing enough caffeine, 12% malt liquor, and other disgusting toxins, to keep you awake yet totally unconscious--this little death trap became known as "Black Out In A Can." Rap songs were made in honor of the drink and a bunch of college kids kicked it due to over consumption. The FDA banned Four Loko about a month ago and people scrambled to the stores to buy up every last can, like the world was ending.

B is for Bed Bugs

It’s like the Black Plague of our time, except it hasn't killed a portion of the population. Still, those who have them may wish they were dead.  The side effects of these pests include: paranoia, anxiety, sleepless nights, neurosis, lack of friends coming over, and generally miserableness. However, when described by Isabella Rossellini, they seem downright delightful. We still hope like hell we never get them in our lifetime.

C is for  Courtney Love's Come Back

We might argue that she never went away, really, how could Courtney disappear? However, this year Ms. Love dropped her long awaited solo album, Nobody's Daughter, toured extensively, changed her "look" multiple times, took over social media, lost custody of her daughter Frances Bean Cobain, sat front and center at Fashion Week, ruined the possibility of a true Hole reunion, started a blog, dominated late night television, became a public speaker, pitched a reality show, changed her name and then changed it back and, on top of all this, stayed sober. What did you do this year?

D is for Die Antwoord

After you realized this rave-rap crew from South Africa were next-level performance artists, that unsettled feeling sort of went away. Because there’s nothing more confusing than when the Next Big Thing talks in a language you don’t understand, looks like exotic white trash and makes music videos that showcase giant erections. Thing is, you can't stop watching.

E is for Entitled Rich Girls

It got hard to keep track of Lindsay Lohan getting arrested, getting thrown in jail, being required to wear that ankle bracelet alcohol tracker thing and making poor decisions in general. Didn’t mean it got any less captivating to watch. Also, that reality star who was famous for breaking into Orlando Bloom’s house got busted with black tar heroin, after she’d already been in jail once. It all makes being famous just a teeny bit less appealing. What are we talking about? We’d still totally trade places.

F is for F**king

People still do it!

G is for Garage Girl Bands

This was the year of lo-fi, beachy, garage girl bands. The three-chord, love song take over kick-started with the Vivian Girls, Best Coast and Grass Widow and soon multiplied into an army of cute dresses, catchy riffs and Converse ads.

H is for Haiti

The epic life-altering earthquake in Haiti left 230,000 people dead, 300,000 injured and 1,000,000 homeless. We watched from our televisions in disbelief as a natural disaster destroyed Léogâne and the towns that surrounded it.

K is for Kicked It Too Early

2010 was a shot to the heart for the music world. Jay Reatard, Ari Up, Alex Chilton, Soloman Burke, Dio, Malcom McLaren, Devon Clifford. R.I.P.

I is for It Gets Better

As if we needed more reason to adore Dan Savage. For years, he used his popular column, Savage Love, to reassure isolated Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Transgendered youth that life gets better the older you get and the farther away you run from your shitty small town. Then he took this message to the Internet, where it spread like lightning. Everyone from the bitchy queen on ProRo to President Obama submitted a video. It was the warm fuzzy of the year.

J is for James Frano

Once again, Mr. Franco managed to accomplish more in the last year than your whole family linage has, or ever will, in this lifetime. Including, but not limited to, writing a book, guest starring on a soap opera, working on an MA and shooting a movie down the street from my house.

L is for Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber

Seriously Lesbians?  You’re always trying to jump on the cultural bandwagon. And once again, you TOTALLY MASTER IT.

M is for Montana Fishburne

Probably the only porn star in history of porn who chose to use her real name. We think if she just went by Dad Issues, she would have probably accomplished whatever she was originally trying to accomplish.

N is for Nicki Minja

The newest female rapper to pose spread eagle on an album cover and get massive. She’s crazy and gets to wear pink wigs, like Britney Spears when she went really crazy, except somehow, for Nicki, it works.

O is for Oprah Ends Talk Show

After 25 years of totally dominating afternoon talk show television, Oprah Winfrey decided to throw in the towel. Well, half the towel since she will now focus her energy on her new network, OWN. Oprah fought back tears as she thanked audiences for letting her into their homes for so many years. Out of all the fabulous things she did, we especially thank her for sitting still while Tom Cruise jumped on her couch like a psycho as we all waited for the blog posts and parodies to roll in.

P is for Perez Hilton gets nice

Perez was all over the It Gets Better campaign, despite being a really obnoxious, famewhoring bully. Hypocrite! Then he made an appearance on Ellen, and changed his website so it’s all about love and self-respect and less about cum faces and penises in celeb’s mouth. Now he writes lame words of encouragements that wouldn’t be out of place on those stickers you buy for your preschool children.

Q is for The Queen is Dead

Alexander McQueen, one of the most inventive, daring and genius designers of recent times is no longer here. Your gay friends and your hairdresser who buys those obscure $90 fashion magazines that come out once a year, got really sad.

R is for the Riot Grrrl Revival

With historical anthologies like "Girls to the Front" by Sara Marcus flying off the shelves, there seemed to be a riot grrrl revival in 2010. Kathleen Hanna made Tavi a sweater and then Jane Pratt teamed up with Tavi to start a new Sassy (which was the ultimate riot grrrl teen magazine). Maybe this whole thing is Tavi’s doing? Critics and writers from all over critizied the movement for being void of politics, while others attempted to figure out what this throw back to “Revolution Grrrl Style Now” realty meant for women today. Others just kept making music.

S is for Splitsville

Christina Aguilera, Shania Twain, Eva Longoria, Scarlett Johansson all joined together to dance to that Single Ladies song in unison. Or something. Basically, true love didn’t shin through for some, which goes to show that celebs are JUST LIKE US!

T is for Terry Richardson

When model Rie Rasmussen called out Terry Richardson, claiming he sexually harassed models during photo sessions, a few other models began to expose their stories. Jezebel kept us updated on the fiasco, defending anonymous women who wanted to talk about their experiences with Terry from behind a shaded face. After being virtually curb stomped by feminist bloggers, Terry is still on top in the fashion world. What did we learn from all of this?

U is for University Fund for Teen Mom Stars

Tyler and Catelynn of Teen Mom broke our hearts in 2009 when they made the mature decision to create an adoption plan for their unexpected child. The teenage couple, whose troubled parents fell in love and got married after the kids got together, had their struggles with adoption, school and life displayed on MTV for the world to judge. When word got out that Tyler and Catelynn--whose dream was to attend college and be the first in their families to do so--might not be able to afford secondary education, Jezebel set up a donation link on their site and raised $15,000 from readers. Cue the water works.

V is for Viral Videos

Every year we digest a head full of viral videos. Some of the top time waster clips of this year? Double Rainbow, Single Ladies, Brad Paisley falling on stage, the chicken nugget attack and anything on that Fail Blog.

W is for Willow Smith

Yet another member of that freakily-over-the-top-posicore-can’t-hold-them-down -‘cause-they’re-SO-full-of-talent, the Smiths, had the opportunity to showcase her what she’s got in the form of a hit single “Whip My Hair.” We don’t care how tasteful her song is, she’s ten and she has a successful career. We hate her for that but would still love to be her babysitter.

Y is for You!

Thanks to the way the world is going, you’re still all over the Internet. But mostly on Facebook, which is not so slowly taking over the world. You know how when people go crazy, they get paranoid about Scientology or the Feds? Well, people should add Facebook to that list because they know more about you than you do.

X is for X, like, the band

Los Angeles legendary punk band, X, are playing their last show ever on New Years Eve in Seattle. All songs from their first two albums, Los Angeles and Wild Gift, will be put to rest. See you there.

Z is for Zingers

Quote of the year goes to Ryan Reynolds. "Tattoos are the Walmart of rebellion." Heavy, dude. Heavy.

Here's to 2011!

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One Response to “A-Z of 2010”

  1. A-Moni says:

    This is great, very well put together!

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