October 13, 2009 | By

In order to promote a new energy drink, Pepsi has teamed up with Apple to create a new iPhone application for men called, Before You Score, for all those losers who were too lazy to finish reading The Game.

The program displays women in twenty four different categories (the cougar, the punk, the indie chick, the tree-hugger, etc.) so by simply tapping greasy finger to screen, dudes, are provided with an extensive list on how to land that lady. Amazing! Because women are one-dimensional, right? Like, Sporty Spice doesn't like video games and Malibu Barbie would never go skiing. This also must mean we like one-liners. Lucky the 'Before You Score' app has lots of "surefire" openers to chose from.


Maybe the only plus-side to this app is that when a guy clicks on the "Women Studies Major" he is linked to a bunch of info about feminism and the art of not being a total douche bag. Somehow we doubt that anyone who actually owns this app, when whispering "I think I feel my paradigm shifting" to the "Women Studies Major," will woo that lady.


1. BOOKWORM - "This bar would be lugubrious without you. [loo-goo-bree-uhs]"

Yes, they sound the word out for the idiots who can't read at a grade six level.

2. ASPIRING ACTRESS - "I'd really like to see how you look on film..."

Because all aspiring actresses are servers who are also willing to do porn?

3. ARTIST - "You know, the Mona Lisa has no eye brows... wonder what else she shaves?"

Someone please explain how the heck this is a pick-up line?

4. DANCER - "Many say I put the ahhh in Macren-a."

Or the iiick in Dance M-iiii-x '96.

5. REBOUND GIRL - "He must have been gay."


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