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Poor Heidi. Clearly, this has not been a good year life for the aspiring singer. Most recently, she got her face mangled by Playboy photoshop experts (good thing her surgical quest is far from over), she lost her best friend (to a blackberry), she married the worlds biggest nothing burger (twice) and now, after her "dance" routine at the Miss Universe pageant, she has proved that she can never resort to teaching stripper-sizing when her "career" finally flounders. Hey, at least she can always rely on her chest because that shit is rock solid.

See Heidi's stellar Britney Rip-Off original dance routine at the Miss Universe Pageant 2009 below.

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