NEWS / “If It’s A Smoosh…


By Jess Bloom | September 13, 2010 | Link | One Comment
...you gotta put lotion on your butt," said Snooki in last week's episode of Jersey Shore. We knew they tanned, bronzed, airbrushed their nails and clipped in hair extensions but we had no idea how important the properly lotioned butt is. While we don't know for sure which cream was besmeared onto Little Snooks' booty, we have a few suggestions for her (and you too). 1. Boudreaux's Butt Paste -- Keep that butt smooth as a baby's. Word is that Oprah uses it. You can get a free sample at the website. 2. Benefit Bum Deal -- An exfoliating scrub that tightens your skin up so you can get loose. 3. Elicina Cream -- Just like Snooki herself, this cream comes from Chile. It's 80% snail secretion. While the French were busy eating snails, Chilean snail farmers realized the goo was making their skin super soft. Chileans, 1...or something. 4. L'Occitane Organic Olive & Tomato Garden Hand Cream -- This is the closet you could get to dipping your backside into a vat of marinara sauce without actually doing that. 5. Ole Henriksen Truth Revealed Super Creme -- Snooki so didn't deserve to be yelled at just because she revealed the truth in her letter to Sam. What did she deserve? A soothing cream that "boosts cell proliferation, and scavenges free radicals." 6. Clean Fresh Laundry Soft Body Lotion -- Putting the "L" in "GTL." 7. Marc Jacobs Splash Eau de Toilette in "Biscotti" -- It smells like your Nona is baking in the kitchen but the kitchen is your butt. 8. Philosophy Beach Party Golden Girl Body Lotion -- For all those times you fall asleep on a beach with a guy whose name you don't really know. 9. Comodynes Self-Tanning Body Towels -- Last, but not least, because where would we be without a swipe of tan?

COMMENTS


One Response to ““If It’s A Smoosh…”

  1. Mish

    When I saw Snooks cream up her butt pre-coital, I was impressed. Nice touch.


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