A round-up of Mother's Day gifts for tabloid stars In addition to paparazzi and remarkable family dysfunction, we don't envy celebrity progeny on Mother's Day. Run-of-the-mill kids can knock off a handwritten card, pick some flowers and toast some Eggos but that's not going to fly with these A-list mamas. As if Angelina even eats Eggos. As if Teen Mom Jenelle can even read a card. Nope, if you want to make sure Katie Holmes fights for your custody at your parent's inevitable divorce hearing, you're going to have to deliver big time. We've put ourselves in the shoes of famous kids, from Courtney Love's Frances to Tina Fey's Alice, and shopped around. Our round-up of Mother's Day gifts include a pen, a bra, shoes, shirts and vibrators. If you still haven't found the perfect gift for your mom, maybe she'll be interested in one of our celebrity Mother's Day finds. Click here to see hearty's celeb mom gift guide! Mother's Day Pair: Maddox for Angelina Jolie We Suggest: "Fang" shoes by Iris van Herpen These exclusive "Fang" shoes by Iris van Herpen and United Nude are hot and a little bit scary, just like Angelina Jolie. They'll also come in handy if Angelina visits Maddox's birth country, Cambodia, during rainy season. Click here to see hearty's celeb mom gift guide! Mother's Day Pair: Frances Bean for Courtney Love We Suggest: IRO Lawrence Printed Tee with Kurt Cobains signature If we know Frances Bean even a little bit (and we like to think we do), it's not very likely she'll get sentimental with Courtney Love. A little over a week ago, Frances took control of her father's image and intellectual property away from her mother. Great timing with Mother's Day around the corner. This IRO Lawrence Printed Tee with Kurt Cobain's signature at the bottom would be a great way for Frances to rub some salt into the wound. Especially if she gets royalties. Click here to see hearty's celeb mom gift guide! Mother's Day Pair: Jace for Jenelle Evans We Suggest: Agent Provocateur baby lace satin bra The truth is, we're living in a time where teen mothers from North Carolina are front page tabloid stars. Jenelle got a boob job, y'all. Her baby, Jace, should crawl over to the keyboard and order her up Agent Provocateur's baby lace and satin bra. Something with a bit of class that might land him a step-father who hasn't been to jail. Click here to see hearty's celeb mom gift guide! Mother's Day Pair: Blue Ivy for Beyonce Knowles We Suggest: Maison Martin Margiela Ostrich feather pen In addition to incubating Blue Ivy (or did she?), Beyonce gave birth to an article for Essence magazine that won a journalist award. It seems like this white ostrich feather pen from Maison Martin Margiela would entertain both the baby and dubious writing career. Click here to see hearty's celeb mom gift guide! Mother's Day Pair: Suri Cruise for Katie Holmes We Suggest: Babeland Orgasm in a box Now 6 years old, Suri Cruise might clue into her dad's total gayness and her mom's abducted eyes. What Katie Holmes needs is Babeland's Orgasm in a Box. Katie's not the cautious and virginal Joey Potter we think she is. This lady has needs and there's no way they're being met by Tom Cruise. Seriously. Click here to see hearty's celeb mom gift guide! Mother's Day Pair: Alice for Tina Fey We Suggest: Vacation with a Thakoon Addition Maui Sweater Between two ferns? More like, between two palm trees. That's where Tina Fey deserves to chill for a bit after starring, producing and writing 6 seasons of 30 Rock. It seems like things are wrapping up for the show and Alice can get her mom used to the idea of a vacation with this Thakoon Addition Maui sweater. Click here to see hearty's celeb mom gift guide!