Featured__ The Body Language Tips You Need To Know
You know when something just feels off between you and a friend, but you can’t really explain why? They haven’t said anything to make you feel uneasy, but you still do. This is probably because of their body language.
Tonya Reiman, body language export and author of The Power Of Body Language: How To Succeed In Every Business And Social Encounter tells you what some of most the common stances convey to other people, and how you can use this to your advantage.
This includes playing with your hair, touching your face or any other type of nervous movement. Rieman says this can be a major distraction, and even demonstrate a lack of power in a business situation. “When we touch our faces or hair, it is because we need self-soothing,” Rieman says. Even crossing and uncrossing your legs can display a lack of interest.
In a dating context, it’s pretty much the opposite. Touching your face and playing with your hair is called “preening” and it shows that you’re trying to look your best and attract your date, so it actually makes you seem more interested. “You can often garner the same results by leaning slightly forward, tilting your head, and incorporating a touch that feels natural, like brushing up against your date.” Reiman explains. She even goes on to say that a guy is more than one and a half times as likely to notice a woman’s scent or touch as he is her eye color or name, so don’t forget the perfume.
Crossing Your Arms
Crossing your arms is a universal symbol for “no” and generally makes you appear defensive. “When you see this signal in any situation in which you are trying to persuade someone, you have some work to do,” Reiman says. It makes you appear closed off and can actually do just that – a study indicated that even if you’re just crossing your arms to warm yourself up, it can close you off from absorbing up to 50% of the information you’re receiving.
It’s pretty obvious that slouching never conveys anything positive. “In order to be perceived as confident – and, as an extra bonus, feel confident – you must stand tall, with your neck elongated, ears and shoulders aligned, chest slightly protruding, and legs slightly apart, distributing weight evenly,” Reiman explains.
If you’re looking to leave a good impression, avoid folding your hands. Reiman says, “If you tend to keep your hands in your lap when you speak, you’re in danger of fading into the wallpaper! Try to develop a set of gestures that feels comfortable to you so you give your verbal message more power.” An exception to the rule is if you’re speaking with someone who is giving you instructions or feedback – basically when you’re the listener, not the speaker.
One Hip Popped Out
This is a natural stance for lots of us, but Reiman notes that it can make you seem slightly sarcastic or flirtatious. “The woman who does this – and it’s almost always a woman – feels a little cocky or confident,” she says. “People tend to perceive women who do this stance as tough-minded.” Avoid this stance when you’re in a position of authority and you’re trying to command respect, but feel free to break it out when you’re in a heated argument with your S.O.
The Icing On The Cake
One last thing that Reiman notes is that when you’re on a date, you can draw attention to your neck with a natural touch or by wearing a necklace that lands right at the base of your neck. But make sure it’s not a heart necklace, since this signals to your date that you’re already taken.