News__ WHY BETTY WHITE SHOULD TWEET
Betty White is currently taking over the planet, with a new TV show, Emmy nomination, pin-up calendar--and that's just in the last month. The only corner of civilization that White hasn't conquered yet is Twitter. And even though there is some worries of Betty saturation, we could never get enough. From the bizarre possibilities to romance with John Mayer to Chatroulette boners, there are countless reason why our Golden Girl should get tweeting, but we put together a list of ten.
Hold onto your diapers, Internet, and get ready to join our crusade!
10 REASONS BETTY WHITE SHOULD GET TWITTER
1. Bizarre Possibilities -- Old people feel the need to be overly loud and sometimes aggressive when confronted with post-WWII technology. Think about every bizarre voicemail your mom has left you. Now imagine those mixed with every rambling nonsensical tweet.
2. John Mayer's New 'Sexual Napalm'? -- Possible tweet-based romance between White and John Mayer. The courtship tweets would warm our hearts, the breakup tweet would bring a tear to the eye, and the eventual second Playboy interview would make every John Mayer song worth it.
3. Inspiration to Women -- Betty is proof that aging does not mean slowing down or becoming soft. When White's tweets shine a light into the day-to-day happenings of seniors, we'll all rest easy knowing our 70's will be nothing but bong hits, cheap men, and SNL guest appearances.
4. Nude Celebrity Photos -- White's naughty photos would outdo every bizarre, semi-nude celebrity photo posted to Twitter. Plus, she knows what she's doing. White has had x-rated photos uncovered twice in her career, and just recently came out with her own pin-up calendar. Leave it to the pros, youngsters!
5. She Could Be President...of like, Space -- If 500,000 people on Facebook could get her on SNL, then think about what even a fraction of the Twitter community could help her to do. Run for president? Go to space? Become president of space? The possibilities are endless.
6. Bored People Get Some Action -- Betty already has a great online presence, and knows how to appeal to the perpetually bored/stoned. From footage of her singing Sinatra in the 50's, to nudie pics, to a clip of her doing a death metal cover of the Golden Girls theme, she just makes the internet better (especially for stoners).
7. Celebrity Deathmatch -- Celebrities love trashing each other on Twitter. No agents, managers, or lawyers are able to censor even the most incoherent tweets, so someone like Ice-T can tell Aimee Mann to "eat a bag of dicks" and not get sued for it. One can only imagine the violent, sexually explicit things that Betty White would demolish some poor celeb with. Hey Betty, you know LeBron James just joined Twitter, right? Just sayin'.
8. Set For Royalty -- Betty White would rule the tweet. She already has a bunch of fans that have Twitter (Justin Bieber!) with accounts like @BettyWhite_ and @BettyWhiteLove keeping fans on top of all things Betty, there's no doubt she'd take Ashton Kutcher's crown as the most popular tweet-er ever.
9. Doing the Right Thing -- She's matching up to $25,000 of every donation to the Betty White Wildlife Rapid Response Fund. She'd get a lot of donations from tweeting fans, and probably end up saving the planet.
10. Chatroulette Boners -- Once White becomes a Twitter user it's just a matter of time until Chatroulette follows. We can't wait for the screencaps of Betty's wholesome smile accompanying some dude from the depths of a New Jersey basement suite. Keep it freaky, homegirl!